


Stitches

by BlushingBlue



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Crochet AU, Fluff, Gen, Gift Giving, Pre-Treebros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-27
Updated: 2017-09-27
Packaged: 2019-01-06 02:44:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12202290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlushingBlue/pseuds/BlushingBlue
Summary: One-shot.Instead of letters, Evan is tasked by his therapist to learn to crochet as a way to redirect his nervous fidgeting into something productive. On the first day of school, Evan works up the nerve to give them out.





	Stitches

lt wasn’t a huge secret that Evan Hansen could crochet. Or, at least, he didn’t try to hide it. Once the warm months passed, Evan would wear hats and scarved - even jumpers! - that he made for himself. 

It gave him something to do with his hands when he was nervous. If he didn’t have it, he would pull at the hem of his shirt, or scratch at his skin, or tear paper, or -- well, you get the idea. 

Dr. Sherman suggested he learn, almost a year ago, so he asked his mother to buy him a hook and some yarn. The entire purchase was barely six dollars, so he didn’t feel terribly guilty for asking for it. 

That night he stayed up and watched youtube tutorials trying to replicate the stitches. The first thing he made was a scarf for his mother. It was a bit lopsided at the start, stretching wider and looser than the rest, but as he got the hang of it, it had gone much smoother!

It was better than the constant destruction of the items around him, at least. This was creation, not destruction, and it made him feel a little bit better. The bright smile his mother gave him when he presented here with blue and purple scarf was absolutely worth it as well. 

Evan crocheted almost constantly in his spare time. 

He was in the middle of a special project when he broke his arm. Not being able to work on it very well was stressful, but without the full use of his left hand, it was slow going if he did attempt. 

Working on it too long would agitate his arm and he’d have to stop. 

Still, the colder months crept closer and Evan found himself trying to compile gifts for those he was close to. He’d found a really nice pattern for his mother to match the scarf he had made her. 

Evan sighed, setting the project down for the night. He’d only gotten one row done. He turned the lights out and settled down to sleep. The next day promised to be cold enough for a scarf. 

When morning came, Evan curled up towards his headboard and grabbed the project from the night before. He worked a few more stitches in before his mother called him down for breakfast. 

He set the project aside again, sliding out of bed to get ready for the day. It was still early enough in the morning that Evan could take his time if he needed to. He made his way downstairs in his pajamas, yawning.

He flopped down at the table, his mother setting a bowl of cereal with almond milk down in front of him. He looked up at his mother who gave him a tired smile. 

He returned the smile, settling his broken arm in his lap and beginning his breakfast. 

They didn't get mornings like this often. Normally Heidi would be off at work by this time, or she would be asleep, worn out by class from the night before. 

But it was Monday so there was no class, and his mother would go in the same time that he had class. It was nice! 

“I see you’re working on a new project! That’s exciting, huh?” Heidi’s cheerful voice cut through Evan’s thoughts. He nodded, looking down at the cereal and pushing it around the bowl.

Evan flushed, taking another bite of his cereal so he wouldn’t have to answer right away. His mother was a patient woman though, she had to be. “Yeah, its - uh. It’s a hat?” He answered, eating more to avoid the conversation more than he was hungry. 

“That’s wonderful, honey. Who’s it for?” 

Evan shook his head, his mouth full of cereal. He didn’t want to answer. Besides, he wasn’t done yet, why did it matter? His mother stuck up her hands, a gesture of defeat, saying a quick ‘ok, ok,’ and moving to put the dishes in the sink. 

Evan ran back up to his room after, shoving the rest of his things into his bag, including the unfinished hat. Getting dressed was still a bit tricky, still unused to the clunky cast on his arm. 

He dressed in a button down, it was easier to pull on even if it was a pain to actually button. He looked at himself in the mirror, smoothing away any fly away strands in his hair.

He wasn't sure how long he stood staring at himself in the mirror, eyes unfocused on himself, but his mother knocked on his door startling him away from his reflection.

He took a deep breath to calm himself, but he felt a tremble race down his spine. 

“Are you good on refills? We’ve got to leave soon.” Heidi leaned against the door, watching as Evan opened the box that held his pills, currently a script for pain killers that he hasn’t touched, one for his anxiety, and one for sleeping. 

He nodded, shaking the pill bottle to show there were plenty left. He dug out the Klonopin, taking it with water. He slung his backpack onto his right shoulder, avoiding his left arm, careful not to jostle it too much. Even though it was casted, the pain was still present, like a persistent throb, but he still hadn’t had an appointment with Dr. Sherman since he broke his arm. 

He wasn’t sure if he could take the painkillers that were prescribed to him, and google was unhelpful. 

“Ready!” He told his mother. She was already dressed in brightly colored scrubs for the day, keys in hand. 

“Alright, let’s go!” He followed his mother out of the house. He’d be at school early, like… really early, but he didn’t mind. It would give him a chance to huddle in the common area until he could find Jared. 

The trip from their house to Evan’s school took a few minutes, not a long trip at all. Evan could have walked it if he needed to. She pulled up to the curb and Evan was quick to hop out, only stopping when his mother called his name. 

“I made you an appointment with Dr. Sherman for this afternoon. I’ll pick you up, okay?” 

Evan leaned back into the car, frowning. “I thought my appointment wasn’t until next week?” he asked, fiddling with the strap of his backpack as he spoke. Heidi smiled at her son, trying to be reassuring. 

“I just thought, since it’s the first day of school, you could use someone to talk to. I can move it back to next week, though, if that would be better.” 

Evan shook his head. “N-no, that’s fine, I’ll go.” He didn’t want to, but it would make more work for his mother to go and cancel and appointment she’d already made, and she always got this sad look when he got too anxious to go to his appointments. 

She smiled at him. “Alright, Evan, I’ll see you after school then, honey. I love you!” 

“Love you, too,” Evan said, giving her a weak smile back. He close the car door, standing on the curb for a moment to watch his mother pull off to her job

* * *

.

Evan sat alone in the common area until the buses began letting off the students. He worked diligently on the hat, a stitch at a time. It was easier to do it when he was curled up this way, with the yarn curled around the fingers of his left hand. 

Once the other students started pouring in, Evan shoved the hat back into his bag. The entire project was only twenty rows, but Evan still had nine to go. He was over halfway done, but he’d finished seven of the rows before he broke his arm. 

He was just fortunate that his left hand didn’t have to twist like his right did to make the stitches. 

Evan stood, tossing his backpack back onto his shoulders, wandering away from his spot to see if he could find Jared. He glanced through the crowds, briefly interacting with a girl - Alana? - who rambled at him for a moment before going off to talk to someone else. 

He shook his head, but trudged forward through the crowd, careful not to bump anyone. 

Jared ended up finding him, instead. Evan whipped around at the sound of Jared’s laugh. “Break your arm jerking off too much?” Jared teased, the laughter still bubbling in his voice. 

“NO! I was climbing a _tree_ , and then… I… fell? Um...” Evan sputtered, wrapping his arms around himself, picking at the edge of his cast. It didn’t give at all, the plaster staying stubbornly in place. 

Jared laughed again, shaking his head. “Maybe you should tell people you were jerking off, it’s less sad that way.”

Evan flushed, ignoring the comment. “H-how was your… Did you have a good summer?” Evan stumbled over the words, staying some of them too fast as he spoke, but Jared was used to his fumbling. There were so many people here, he glanced around him, trying to see if anyone was watching him. 

He listened as Jared described his summer, unsure of how to react after, he tugged harder on the plain white plaster. Evan wondered if Jared would sign his cast. He started tugging off his backpack to search for the sharpie he’d carelessly tossed in his backpack that morning. 

Then the warning bell rang. 

Panicked, Evan abandoned the search for a sharpie and instead grabbed another item, soft to the touch. He shoved it at Jared quickly, prompting him to take it. “F-for when you’re gaming!” He squeaked out, stumbling past the other boy and making his way to class in a rush. 

He could feel his heart hammering against his chest, like it was going to beat right out of his throat and into his hands. 

Jared walked off to his own class, clutching the crocheted items in his hands. He made a questioning noise, rolling the soft yarn between his fingers. They were gloves? Fingerless and not super thick, nothing for when he was out and about in the winter. 

There was a note tucked into the wrist of one glove, and he pulled it out as soon as he sat down in homeroom. The note read:

_Dear Jared Kleinman,  
I noticed that your hands get cold when you’re typing or gaming! So I made you some fingerless gloves? Sorry if this is presumptuous, you can throw them away if you want! _

_Sincerely, Me_

The note started neat, ending in a messy scrawl as Evan became more anxious in the middle. Jared snorted, folding the note and placing both the note and the gloves back in the bag.

* * *

.

Evan spent the rest of the free time between classes, his free period, and his lunch trying to finish the hat. By the end of the day, he only had to weave in the ends, though both his wrist on his right hand ached and his broken arm was sore. 

He walked to the computer lab, settling down for the next few moments. His mother would be here soon, and he could weave in the ends before he left school. Then maybe, if he was lucky, he could shove the hat into its intended’s hands and run away like he did with Jared. 

Jared could read his anxious scrawl though. 

He would print the note once he was done, and it would be legible. Evan didn’t have a printer at home though, so he couldn’t for Jared’s note. He hummed softly, weaving in the little tails of yarn that poked out. It didn’t take long, the hat was a plain black. He just hoped he judged the size right. 

He set the hat in his lap as he typed his note, hands shaking as he typed it. He checked it three times for typos, only printing it when he was satisfied with the result. 

That’s when his phone started ringing. Startled, he grabbed the jittering object from the desk, answering the call. 

“H-hello,” He answered. It was just his mother, he could do this. Still, he clutched at his chest with his free hand as he spoke, trying to calm himself. He plucked at the buttons. 

“Evan, honey? I’m stuck at work. Erica called out, and I had to cover her shift,” His mother sounded somewhat upset, but she seemed cheerful enough. More hours meant a better paycheck, after all! “Can you get Jared to take you to your appointment?” 

Evan hummed an affirmative, not trusting his voice quite yet. 

“Alright, I’ll be home late, I’ve got class right after work. I’ve got to go now, though, I love you!” The call ended before Evan could even make a sound. He puffed out a breath he was holding, drawing in a deep breath right after. 

It didn’t help, but he tried anyhow. He dropped the phone back to the desk, immediately checking it after for any cracks. It was a dumb pre-paid phone that his mother got him, a cheap little thing so he could text and call her, or Jared - the only two contacts in his phone. 

Jared was probably long gone by now though. He took another shaky breath, standing up to go get the note from the printer. 

He flinched when another person came in between him and the printer. He didn’t know who it was, only seeing their shoes. “Um…” He started, hand gripping the hat a bit tightly between his fingers. 

“Is this yours?” The voice asked. It was light, almost friendly, but familiar. Evan’s eyes jerked up to meet the eyes of none other than Connor Murphy. 

“Um, actually?” Evan started, frowning. “It’s, um, it’s, I wrote it?” He felt helpless, a small whine trying to creep up from the back of his throat. He didn’t intend for it to go this way, but it… worked. “It’s for you, actually?” 

Evan’s whole body shook when Connor turned the paper back towards himself. 

_Dear Connor Murphy,_

The note started. “You wrote me a letter? Is this some kind of sick joke?” Connor was angry, drawing up to his full height to tower over Evan. 

“N-no! Here!” Evan thrust out the soft fabric, nearly pushing it to Connor’s chest. He was still terrified. What about his note was a joke? He tried to recall each line, desperate to find something that would make Connor angry. 

Connor’s jaw clenched, but his eyes returned to the note. 

_Dear Connor Murphy,  
I made this for you! It’s a hat, sorry if its small? And for not talking to you in person, but sometimes my words don’t come out right - ask Jared, he knows! Crocheting keeps my hands busy so I don’t pick at my skin or clothes. That’s probably weird, sorry! _

_Anyway, I hope you like it!_

_Sincerely,  
Evan H. _

Connor’s posture relaxed as he read the remainder of the note, he touched the fabric that Evan was hold out to him, appearing to scrutinize it. 

“You… You can throw it out if-if y-you don’t like it,” Evan mumbled, but Connor shook his head instead. Evan felt at a bit of a loss. 

Connor held the hat and the note in one hand for a moment, combing through his hair briefly with one hand. In the next moment, the hat was pulled over his hair. It made Connor look… softer, somehow, and Evan practically beamed at him. 

“Um, I should probably go…” Evan mumbled, unable to keep the small smile off of his face. 

Connor stopped him. “Wait! No one signed your cast…” Evan glanced down at blank white of the cast, frowning at it. “Do you have a sharpie?” Connor continued. Evan scrambled for the marker, pulling it out and nearly shoving it into Connor’s hands. 

The name was written huge, covering half the cast. 

Evan blinked down at the huge signature, but Connor was already scrawling something on the bottom half of the note followed by a tearing sound. Connor handed Evan the note and the sharpie, walking away after. “See you around, Evan,” Connor called over his shoulder. 

Evan looked down at the scrawled note, seeing a phone number with the words _Text Me_ following them. He flushed a bright scarlet. 

Perhaps this year would be a good one after all…

**Author's Note:**

> My first one-shot! My internet went out last night for a few hours (its back now! For how long, no one knows!), so I scribbled this down. It was the only doc I had open rofl. This is just something small I've been thinking about for a while, since I crochet to help redirect my anxiety. Its a good little thing to focus on! 
> 
> This will likely remain a oneshot unless people really like it? Idk.
> 
> As always, you can find me in these places:   
> Tumblr: [blushing-blue](https://blushing-blue.tumblr.com/)  
> Twitter: [@blushing_blue](https://twitter.com/blushing_blue)


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